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How Hot Are These Famous Authors?

Hopefully, by now, you know that 101 Books isn’t necessarily a blog of high literary criticism. If you don’t, I’m telling you now: We ain’t high-fallutin’ book people ‘round here.

That’s where today’s post comes in. Blinq is a controversial dating app that has a feature wherein you can upload a photo, the app does some kind of magic, then it tells you whether you’re “hot or not” on a scale of “Hmmm…” to “Godlike,” as well as an estimated guess on age. It was in the news a couple of weeks ago.

But we already know you’re probably all hot, so that’s boring. Let’s make this interesting. Let’s upload some photos of famous authors and see what happens.

Here we go:

Jonathan Franzen

franzenhot

Apparently, Blinq isn’t a fan of great hair and nondescript hipster glasses.

 

James Joyce

jamesjoycehot

James Joyce was allegedly a kinky man, and Blinq seems to want in on the fun.

Jack Kerouac

kerouachot

Really? “Nice” is all you can give Jack? Doesn’t Kerouac look like the All-American douchebag male here? Douchebag? Yes. But still attractive, right? Certainly better than a “nice.”

William Shakespeare

shakespearehot

In this photo, Bill has that vibe of your creepy uncle who’s also a struggling poet that lives in a rundown trailer. I’d give him a “Hmmm…”

 

Sylvia Plath

sylviaplathhot

Come on. Sylvia Plath was attractive.

 

Virginia Woolf

woolfhot

Blinq is not a fan of Miss Wolfe. Jerks.

 

Mark Twain

twainhot

Heck yeah! That mustache alone is hot.

JK Rowling

rowlinghot

I feel like we’re being trolled.

Zadie Smith 

zadiehot

Blinq is dumb. Zadie Smith is beautiful.

Okay, I’m beginning to believe this app is crap. Let’s test it on some obvious celebrities.

Here’s a young Elizabeth Taylor.

taylorhot

Well, that’s definitely on point.

And how about Jon Snow?

jon snowhot

Well, of course, he’s godlike.

Certainly this app is for entertainment purposes only. Read: it’s mainly a crap app to have fun with.

Everyone is beautiful in their own way, but none of them (and none of you) are as beautiful as Jon Snow. You just need to go ahead and live with that.

If you want to have a little fun and make fun of your friends, by all means…

 

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20 Comments Post a comment
  1. Never looked at my favorite authors quite like that….

    Liked by 1 person

    January 27, 2016
  2. Hilarious! Thanks for the fun.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  3. uju #

    Jon Snow is godlike. I agree!!!

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  4. E #

    Love it! Absolutely hilarious

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  5. Dang you nailed Kerouac. Attractive but douchy looking haaha. I din’t know that’s what he looked like, for some reason I think I always thought Ginsberg was him.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  6. Hahaha, laughed so hard about Jon Snow. “Godlike”.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  7. This is my favorite thing. Never going to reach Jon Snow level. Never.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  8. ha ha i had heard about this app but I would never have thought about using it that way ! Thanks for the fun !

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  9. Hilarious! Yes, it seems to be totally off with writers — Zadie Smith is proof of that. She is stunning. The only one they nailed, as far as I’m concerned, is Jon Snow. He’s off the charts.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  10. “Bill has that vibe of your creepy uncle who’s also a struggling poet that lives in a rundown trailer” – this killed me. Excellent post.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  11. I put Uncle Bardie’s pic in the darn thing and the website crashed. Wonder what that says.

    Like

    January 27, 2016
  12. Amazing! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Like

    January 28, 2016
  13. This is so funny! I would try to do the same with some of my favorite authors but I don’t have the time at the moment. I’ll most likely try sometime in this summer.

    Like

    January 28, 2016
  14. Unfortunately, it’s just an app. Everyone in this world has their own opinion about how nice a person is, so does Blinq. Maybe this “guy” base every author in this list on how famous they are! So Mark Twain is “Hot”. It’s a good point!

    Like

    January 29, 2016
  15. Haha very entertaining! Mark Twain hot?

    Liked by 1 person

    January 29, 2016
    • Jaden C. Kilmer #

      I mean, can you deny that bomb-as-hell mustache?

      Liked by 1 person

      February 18, 2016
  16. How funny! Great information to know. Ha..Ha..Ha..

    Like

    February 2, 2016
  17. I must be really unhip, or whatever the term would be today. Who the hell is Jon Snow?

    Like

    February 7, 2016

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  1. How Hot Are These Famous Authors? | A WORLD OF THOUGHTS
  2. Las Vegas man sues his Tinder hookup after contracting genital herpes | Herpes Survival Kit

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