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Superhero Movies Are Pretty Much The Worst

Hold on…it’s Hot Take Friday!

Yes, I’m not a fan of superhero movies and perhaps that puts me in a minority among middle-aged males, but I can’t help it.

Don’t get me wrong…I used to like the superhero films. I remember watching the early versions of Superman with Christopher Reeve and the late 80s-early 90s cheesy Batman movies.

I enjoyed them as a kid. Now, though, I’d probably rather watch a Lifetime movie starring an aging Jason Priestley.

It’s too simple to say I “outgrew” superhero movies. That really has nothing to do with it. I still play video games. I still cheer for sports teams like I’m a 12 year old with no other responsibilities in the world. I didn’t outgrow those things, and I didn’t outgrow superhero movies.

At some point, though, probably around the time of the Toby McGuire Spiderman flicks, I totally lost interest. Superhero flicks became boring.

There’s no originality, little thought, and thinly layered storytelling. For all their action, for all their grandiose, epic battle scenes, the superhero movie leaves so much to be desired.

It’s the same reason I find car races so dreadful to watch. In theory, 50 cars traveling around a circle at 200 miles an hour should be entertaining. In theory. Three hours of watching said cars travel around a circle, however, begins to resemble the effects of Ambien with a shot of Jack Daniels.

The last true superhero movie I watched (I don’t count Batman as a superhero, and that’s why I mostly enjoyed the recently trilogy) was The Avengers. I recall one scene toward the end of the movie in which aliens flew out of the sky for, literally, 20 minutes.

The Avengers fought aliens flying out of the sky for 20 minutes. It was like a big budget version of Space Invaders or Galaga, with about the same level of storytelling and variety of combat.

What makes the superhero genre even worse is they keep recycling the same crap over and over and over. Hollywood has lost almost all its creativity.

How many Spiderman/Superman/X Men/Captain America movies do we need? And we’re to the point where we’re rebooting the same crap every ten years!

And WTF is “Ant Man?” I just heard of a superhero named “Ant Man.” It reminds me of this SNL skit with Adam Sandler.

Are we to the point of just looking around, pointing at the first thing we see, throwing a “man” after it, then—voila!—we have a new superhero.

As I look around my home office, I see a calendar. I’m proud to introduce you guys to Desk Calendar Man! He’ll save you from ever being late again! Desk Calendar Man…the superhero who’s always in the nick of time! Blech.

Sorry, guys, I hope to avoid offending to many of you—especially those of you who might be hardcore superhero fans. But I can’t stomach these movies anymore. Not until Hollywood comes up with a new idea. Can we just get a little variety up in here? Can we have an original thought?

Until then, death to the superhero movie! And, yes, I know it will never happen—they make way too much money.

Now, tell me how wrong I am. Go!

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33 Comments Post a comment
  1. Eddie B #

    I like the Marvel superhero movies. The fact that you don’t doesn’t really bother me… but this statement is kinda sad in a whole other light… LOL. “I’d probably rather watch a Lifetime movie starring an aging Jason Priestley.”

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  2. Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  3. Totally agree. Did Allen make you mad and this was your intelligent response?

    Like

    June 19, 2015
    • No, but I guess this probably made him mad. Ha.

      Like

      June 19, 2015
  4. ayuj28consul #

    I completely agree with you! Being a movie fan it saddens me many a times how such movies make billions of dollars whereas beautiful films hardly make back their budgets! I even did a review of Man of Steel lately, just when I thought superhero flicks were taking a turn for the better (seeing Daredevil the show, I was inclined to think that) I saw Man of Steel and any hope I had has vanished!
    I’m sharing your post on FB, it was just too good!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 19, 2015
  5. You are so right here. This is just another reason to love your blog.

    It’s superheroes, games, theme park rides, graphic novels and remakes of superheroes, games, graphic novels and remakes of remakes. Now that Peter Jackson has completed the Lord of the Rings sequence and the Harry Potters and Hunger Games are done for, Hollywood has very little blockbuster material to work with. Although it did try with Jupiter Ascending.

    Have you noticed that the superheroes are white men? Hallie Berry did get to do Catwoman and Angeina Jolie did Lara Croft. What bad movies those were. They convinced Hollywood that they shouldn’t do any more female superheroes unless they were supporting characters or love interests. And they just know that African American or Asian superheroes won’t sell. As soon as there was talk of a black James Bond, there was controversy. Recently they have been turning to Biblical epics. And we know what crap “Noah” was. “Exodus: Gods and Kings” couldn’t even stand in the shadow of “The Ten Commandments”. Now there’s talk of a “Ben Hur” remake. Next we will hear, “Let’s remake Gone with the Wind.” Of all these movies, the only ones I have found remotely interesting were the first two X-Men and the Underworld movies.

    As long as people lay down their hard-earned bucks for this stuff, they are going to make them. I just can’t wait till a Hollywood studio puts out a half of a billion bucks for one of these crappers and it makes only a hundred bucks. Only Disney, who has deep pockets, can survive this.kind of “Heaven’s Gate” fiasco. The studio that made the crapper will sink like the Titanic just like United Artists. Then Hollywood will run like crazy from these kinds of movies. Unfortunately twenty years later, it will forget and begin another round of this kind of thing.

    More and more I find myself acclimating toward British and foreign films. Those movies tend to have stories to work with. God helps us if we start seeing a French Batman, a German Green Lantern, a Spanish Spiderman or an Italian Hulk. By the way, what is the word for Hulk in Italian?

    Like

    June 19, 2015
    • To bad, Adam Sandler didnt’ do Crazy Condom Man.

      Like

      June 19, 2015
    • They truly are out of ideas. I’m beginning to think the creation of the sequel was the beginning of the death of Hollywood.

      Liked by 1 person

      June 19, 2015
      • It’s not the sequel that bothers me so much. It’s the remake.

        Like

        June 19, 2015
  6. Reblogged this on Jin Okubo.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  7. I recently read an article about how we’re terrible at supporting original films, and that studios have learned. Instead of taking risks, they reproduce the same things. I mean, this year we have a Jurassic Park and Terminator movie as big blockbuster hits. If you want to change the film industry, be sure to support original films by going opening weekend. Two movies I’ve seen recently that I really enjoyed were Tomorrowland and Spy, if anyone’s interested! The superhero movies really reflect their time, which makes them dated (yet they keep getting remade). You know what’s funny, though? In that show An Idiot Abroad, Karl Pilkington says he would be Bullshit Man. He would sense bullshit, fly to the scene of the “crime,” and call bullshit. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    June 19, 2015
  8. Why doesn’t Batman count?

    Like

    June 19, 2015
    • He’s part of the genre, but he’s not really a “superhero” because he’s just a strong dude with a lot of cool toys. No superpowers.

      Like

      June 19, 2015
      • This should apply to a number of others as well such as Black Widow and Black Arrow. For a good commentary on comics, read Michael Chabon’s “The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay”. There’s a scene in that coming up with new superheroes and why you can’t just pick anything.

        Like

        June 22, 2015
      • I don’t exactly know what makes him strong except maybe his passion for revenge (what he calls justice).

        Like

        June 23, 2015
  9. This is what I’ve been trying to explain to my husband for 5 years. It’s hard for me to care about a giant, action-filled fight scene when I don’t care about any of the characters involved. Thank you for helping clarify my own feelings with much better words!

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  10. Somebody finally said it! I was just having a debate about superhero with my friends the other day. They have become so bland and generic. I’m holding out for ‘The Suicide Squad’ because that looks a little more unique, and hopefully more exciting!

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  11. I’m a fan because I’m a comics fan. I like my particular guilty pleasures and that’s what those movies are for me. They are just a couple hours of flashy fun and I’m ok with that. People watch movies for different reasons. I kinda get the feeling that the way the world is right now, people don’t want to go to the movies for art, they just want to disconnect some more. Not to mention, there’s something reassuring about the superhero concept in today’s totally fucked up world. We know things are a mess but we feel powerless against them and that’s why we’re totally into superheroes. And yes, Batman IS a superhero. Just because he doesn’t have super “powers” his wealth basically creates them for him– like Tony Stark’s Iron Man.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  12. I completely see your point. I just like watching good looking men throw cars around. But you are right. It’s shameless the way Hollywood exploits the dead American brain by showing them the same movie over and over again. I will definitely- because it’s good for the country- stop watching that trash. Especially Superman. And Thor. Bad Thor.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  13. Money is the boss. As long as these movies are generating revenue, the Hollywood tycoons will continue to make them.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  14. To each his own. I genuinely like superhero movies, but they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.

    Like

    June 19, 2015
  15. Ruth Fox #

    Am an unabashed superhero movie fan. Thor is my favourite. Watching superhero movies is pure escapism. I like fantasy movies that create an alternate universe, and all the artistry that goes into realising that world on the screen, e.g. Harry Potter, Star Wars or Blade Runner (my all time favourite film). I guess they are absolutely milking the genre – but I’m still looking forward to the next Thor movies 🙂

    Like

    June 20, 2015
  16. emilymullaswilson #

    Most stories are iterations of Joseph Campbell’s monomyth, and superhero stories are no exception. I usually prefer seeing those archetypes manifested in less literal ways (journey of the mind/soul rather than a journey flying through Gotham City). I used to enjoy superhero films, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen one that hasn’t had me checking my watch every 10 minutes. The genre needs a fresh infusion of wit, irony, and metacommentary, and it needs to use the superpower(s) as a means of examining the human condition more deeply.

    Like

    June 21, 2015
  17. They’re all formulaic. Very predictable. I don’t get a lot of enjoyment out of them.

    Like

    June 22, 2015
  18. Reblogged this on Where the Mind Roams and commented:
    Superhero movies ain’t what they used to be. It’s a shame that CGI now distracts from the way of formulaic plot lines, thin backstories, and shallowly likable characters.

    Like

    June 22, 2015
  19. aryeswinchester #

    I agree they are running out if ideas. I also have a blog about books so check it out. Here’s the link http://thepowerofwordsandreaders.blog.com/

    Like

    June 23, 2015
  20. I pretty much agree with you, I also thought once that there is a lack of imagination around Hollywood.
    There are a lot of movie remakes, a lot of never-ending franchise movies and, like you said, super-hero movies.
    I don’t like those movies too, though, I have some points regarding it that must be considered.
    First of all, for a new Director, it is the easiest way to become known and show all his potentials. Using a well-known super-hero puts you directly under the magnifying glass and most everybody will know about you.
    Another reason, could be that there are a lot of Directors that were super hero fans before they became filmmakers, and not being satisfied how another director told a story, they just want to show their point of view about it.
    There are also the new generations that have never seen the ’80s Superman movies or the first Batman and a lot of them never will, so in this way Directors and Producers try to introduce them to old superheroes (I believe that new superhero movies are mostly thought for the new generations instead of the old ones) in order to secure more incomesm that’s mostly because young people prefers to see Superman along with the newest CGI effect instead of the old one without it at all.
    At last, it has to be said that superhero movies are a gold mine and I don’t have to go further to explain 😉

    Thanks for reading,
    Dario from http://pagesbeyondframes.com/

    Like

    June 23, 2015
  21. Once in a while, we hoity-toity and high-falutin’ intellectuals appreciate some mindless entertainment!

    Like

    June 25, 2015

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  1. Who’s Your Favorite Superhero? | 101 Books

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