Your Search Questions Answered: The 20 Greatest Hits!
To “celebrate” the 20th volume of the Your Search Questions Answered series, I thought I’d pull my favorite “question” from each of the first 20 posts.
This is by far the longest running, and most fun, series of posts on 101 Books. If you’ve never read one of these posts, I simply pull the search engine terms that find my blog, show them completely unedited, and attempt some sort of witty response. The results are mixed.
But here are my favorites from the first 20 volumes of Your Search Questions Answered. To see all of the first 20 posts, check out the archive.
is there a book called 101 ways to smell a fart
You know, if there is, I’d love to know how the author went about researching this book.
funny things to put on a english major’s graduation cap
Since I’m a former English major, I can make fun of us. And I’ve got three suggestions: 1) “My participles don’t dangle.” 2) “I got a useless degree and will be unemployed for the next 75% of my life.” 3)”Look Ma! No income!” Thanks. I’ll be here all week.
i don’t know what to do
Just act calm, like nothing happened. If anyone looks you in the eyes, smile gracefully. Don’t accept gifts of more than $100. Stay out of New Jersey for awhile. Wear sunglasses and a Tom Selleck-style ‘stache.
bookshelf welcome to my book list. each of these books are inspiring in some way and i will keep adding as time allows me. enjoy!
It goes without saying that we all know bookshelves have thoughts. The only question here is—what was this bookshelf thinking? And can you imagine if the bookshelf really hated the books and didn’t want to be welcomed to this reader’s self-proclaimed “inspiring” book list? Like, what if this reader was a huge Tony Robbins fan—half of his bookshelf was nothing but signed Tony Robbins books? How depressing it must be for that sad bookshelf to live a life like that. It can’t speak. It’s left alone to its own torturous thoughts, in a prison of Tony Robbins books, with a chatty owner who talks to inanimate objects. The travesty.
feelings that you get when you read the book are you there god its me margaret
Dread. Misery. A vague feeling of “otherness,” like stepping into a room full of inside jokes, except none of the jokes are funny, even to the people who tell them, and everything’s just kind of gross and bloody.
introduction sentences for favorite food
In a world where red meat is king, a new champion approaches the throne: sea bass. Paired with a coupling of lemon-garlic grilled shrimp and seared to a light golden brown, this tender inhabitant of the ocean depths is prepared to make a culinary conquest on its grass-fed counterparts. Red Meat—welcome to your doom. Sea bass rules this world.
most of my time i watch tv and reading novelss
I’m not sure how someone searched for “a” and found my blog. But I’m honored. I don’t want to stop now, though. Next goal? Cornering the market on the “b” searches. This is SEO at its best. I’m on it. B B B B B B B B B B B B b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b. Oh, and B b B b B b.
is blood meridian violent
Is Mrs. Dalloway boring?
describing gone with the wind in one sentence
Gone With the Wind is a battle between Scarlett and Ashley to see who sucks more.
what is it like being an english major
Hold on, let me put down my glass of Scotch for a second to answer your query. Oh, look, a family of beavers is building a lovely home in the mountain stream outside my window! That reminds me: Do you know where I might find an antique mahogany bookshelf on which to place my collection of first edition Emerson and Thoreau?
what word is right when spelled wrong even when its spelled right
Words have been written. Cannot comprehend. Confused. Mentally paralyzed. Feeling drowsy. Must lie down.
every time you say just saying
You take a piece of me with you.
sex with a barnes and noble employee
How would you use the lanyard? Or would it get in the way?
a softtongue’s pawkytalk mude unswer u sufter poghyogh
I’m sorry. You must have mistaken me for someone else.
most disgusting sounding sentence ever
The moist, meaty nugget secreted a milky substance that resembled a dangling mass of flesh.
why do people spell ho wrong
My guess is that people who might commonly need to spell “ho” aren’t overly concerned with the proper spelling of “ho.” Just a general thought.
sentences to annoy my ex girlfriend
1) My ex-girlfriend had more armpit hair than me.
2) This STD is terribly itchy, so I hope I didn’t give it to anyone.
3) My ex-girlfriend is excellent dating material–that is, if you appreciate an insomniac stalker with a tire-slashing tendency.
funny leonardo dicaprio fictional stories about time travel that ends with ernie scared of water
I can’t even process this enough to make a comment.
how to write a classical novel
It’s a 12 step process.
- Have crappy parents. 2. Go to Ivy League school. 3. Drink a lot. 4. Fail out of Ivy League school. 5. Do drugs a lot. 6. Drink a lot some more. 7. Marry a crazy person. 8. Write great novel. 9. Do more drugs a lot. 10. Divorce crazy person and marry another crazy person. 11. Write terrible novel. 12. Kill yourself.
After your death, that great novel you wrote (step 8) will become a classic. Well done!
And that’ll do it for this, the Greatest Hits from the first 20 volumes of Your Search Questions Answered.
Go back and check the archives if you want to read more.
Thanks for reading and making these posts so fun. Until next time!