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Your Search Questions Answered, Volume 19

It’s time for Your Search Questions Answered!

As you may know by now, these are just a sampling of the wacky, wild unedited search terms that find their way to 101 Books. I post them and then attempt some form of unclever response.

Let’s get started:

cheesy lines to cheer your girl up

I’m in love with you, girl, ’cause you’re on my mind
You’re the one I think about most every time
And when you pack a smile in everything you do
Don’t you understand, girl, this love is true?

Wait a minute.. that’s a Milli Vanilli lyric.

 f the golden notebook

That isn’t nice. How could you talk about sweet, little old Doris Lessing’s book that way. God rest her soul.

why do i like to get slapped in my face?

That is an outstanding question and one you should ask your therapist.

im a snob

They say recognizing the problem is the first step.

how to write a classical novel

It’s a 12 step process.

  1. Have crappy parents. 2. Go to Ivy League school. 3. Drink a lot. 4. Fail out of Ivy League school. 5. Do drugs a lot. 6. Drink a lot some more. 7. Marry a crazy person. 8. Write great novel. 9. Do more drugs a lot. 10. Divorce crazy person and marry another crazy person. 11. Write terrible novel. 12. Kill yourself.

After your death, that great novel you wrote (step 8) will become a classic. Well done!

what happens if you don’t read books

michaelscott

how do reads well

Reads is well by do words well. Fun.

i love reading books. me too.

Me three!

read full forced lactation book

WTF?

words spelt weird

What about “spelt?”

To close, let me say that you guys wouldn’t believe the search terms I don’t post on here. Let’s just say that all my posts about Nabokov’s Lolita have made this blog a landing spot for too many bottom-of-the-barrel, scumbag, loser perverts looking for some hellhole of a website. Judging by their search terms, these people are the landfill of humanity. How wonderful that they find a book blog instead.

So on that upbeat note, see you soon for the next edition of these posts!

Here’s all my past editions of Your Search Questions Answered.

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11 Comments Post a comment
  1. deweydecimalsbutler #

    Your instructions for how to write a classic novel made me laugh. Well done.

    Like

    February 28, 2014
    • armyvet76 #

      That was hilarious! All I can say to whoever actually wrote these “questions”, is: Wow. There was a research done on how the average I.Q. is dropping, and this post is proof.

      Like

      March 7, 2014
  2. Me four!
    I’d try writing answers to my search questions, but I’m still trying to figure out “jello combover” and “serenity morbid diaries.”

    Like

    February 28, 2014
  3. Ugh I love these so much!

    Like

    February 28, 2014
  4. Reblogged this on KMSRAJ51-Always Positive Thinker.

    Like

    February 28, 2014
  5. Robert — just to let you know I like your direct style so much I’ve been re-blogging a few of your posts…cool stuff, thanks!

    Like

    February 28, 2014
  6. Reblogged this on Curiosidades na internet.

    Like

    February 28, 2014
  7. I loved this.It reminded me of a book I bought last year which is completely hilarious and guaranteed to cheer up a wet day, ie “Weird things customers say in bookshops” by Jen Campbell.

    An example: Do you have this children’s book I’ve heard about? It’s supposed to be very good. It’s called “Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe”.

    Like

    March 1, 2014
  8. Reblogged this on mira prabhu and commented:
    Robert asks the billion dollar question: HOW TO WRITE A CLASSICAL NOVEL — and here’s his answer — It’s a 12 step process.
    Have crappy parents. 2. Go to Ivy League school. 3. Drink a lot. 4. Fail out of Ivy League school. 5. Do drugs a lot. 6. Drink a lot some more. 7. Marry a crazy person. 8. Write great novel. 9. Do more drugs a lot. 10. Divorce crazy person and marry another crazy person. 11. Write terrible novel. 12. Kill yourself.
    After your death, that great novel you wrote (step 8) will become a classic. Well done!

    Like

    August 3, 2014

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