My Answers To Literary Would You Rather? (Second Edition)
Now it’s my turn.
You guys gave your answers to Friday’s game of Literary Would You Rather (2nd edition), now I’ll give mine.
Gaze your eyes deep into the literary depths of my soul. On second thought, don’t do that—sounds creepy.
Here’s my answers.
1. Would you rather have an ugly, naked man follow you around the rest of your life or have every book you ever touch smell like sulfur?
Someone asked me, “How close would the ugly, naked man be?” My only answer is close enough for you to know he’s there. This isn’t an exact science. So if there’s an ugly, naked—or a well-clothed, handsome man, for that matter—following me around close enough for me to know he’s there, I would live in a constant state of tension and awkwardness. Think about restaurants—He’s not with me, I promise! I’ll take my chances with the sulfur smell. Maybe I’d get used to it.
2. Would you rather lose a big toe (you pick the foot) or have to read 50 trashy romance novels in a year?
I would take the year of trashy, romance novel hell. What an awful year that would be, but the big toe is so important—it’s how you keep good balance!—I just don’t think I could let go of my toe.
3. Would you rather live in Thoreau’s secluded cabin or Gatsby’s mansion?
I’ll take Gatsby’s mansion, sell it, buy Thoreau’s cabin and three more modest houses. Take the remaining money from the sale of the house, invest it in a good mutual fund. Live in one of the houses, rent the other two, and visit Thoreau’s cabin on weekends in the spring and fall. Or something like that.
4. Would you rather be Batman or Spiderman?
I would say this is a terrible question if I wasn’t the one who asked it. This is a no-brainer: Batman. I’ll preface this by saying I don’t read comic books or watch a lot of superhero movies. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all in my opinion. So, that said, Batman. You could take all 8 trillion superheroes—Superman, Spiderman, AquaMan, any other Man—combine all of them, and they still wouldn’t be as cool as Batman. I’ll take Batman every day of the week and twice on Tuesdays. Plus, I’ve always thought Spiderman was a bit of pansy. Maybe that’s just me.
5. Would you rather be trapped in a room with 20 two-year-olds for a week or have to give up reading books for a year?
First off, how did I end up in hell? Now, I have one two-year-old, and I love him to death. I could stay trapped in a room with him for a week—if I absolutely had to. But 19 other two-year-olds? Ain’t nobody got time for that. I love my two year old, but I don’t have to love 19 other two year olds. I’ll go without books for a year. Sorry, the blog might suck after that.
So that wraps up this round of Literary Would You Rather. We’ll do it again sometime.
If you missed Friday’s post, feel free to chime in with your own answers today—or, even better, make fun of mine!