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Creepy Literary Dolls? No, Thank You.

I don’t like dolls.

And I say that not simply as a guy who doesn’t like dolls, but as a guy who is somewhat creeped out by dolls. The more life-like the doll, the creepier it is.

Take these Gone With The Wind dolls, for example. They were recently up for auction through a site called McLemore Auction, and they actually sold for $104. Good for the winning bidder.

But I would want no part of these dolls, no matter how literary or “bookish” I would be considered for owning them.

How would you like to wake up and have this gauntly, large foreheaded Confederate soldier staring at you from your mantle? Is this a resurrected Ashley Wilkes in some sort of creepy Civil War ghost form? In my darkest nightmares, this is the face I see looking at me right before I wake up in cold sweats.

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And look at this Scarlett. She’s not just staring at you with a wide-eyed gaze; she’s also contemplating how to pierce your neck with her pointy, little plastic hands while you sleep. And that’s not a hat–it’s a halo of evil.

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Prissy? She’s the most normal-looking doll. But that smile. Why does she keep smiling like that? Why can’t she just stop smiling? Can you trust someone who never stops smiling?

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We’ve talked about a lot of creepy stuff on this blog. Like old guys reading Judy Blume books, George Orwell’s mustache, and a crappy novel called Neuromancer. But I think these Gone With The Wind dolls take the cake.

Yeah, you buy these dolls and you’re one step away from being featured in an Unsolved Mysteries episode.

See all the dolls over at McLemore Auctions. 

(Images: McLemore Auctions)

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10 Comments Post a comment
  1. RLDraws #

    Those are disturbing! Scarlett has quite the murderous look in her eyes.

    Like

    December 12, 2012
  2. Shhhh. Do you hear that? The Scarlett doll is saying “fiddle dee dee” as she meticulously plots out your murder…

    Like

    December 12, 2012
  3. Blair #

    Oh, how Grace needs to see this…I am laughing and creeped out all at the same time

    Like

    December 12, 2012
  4. They are just one step down from ventriloquist dummies. *Shudder*

    Like

    December 12, 2012
    • Yes, I have a friend who can’t stand ventriloquist dummies.

      Like

      December 14, 2012
  5. You are so right about these ugly dolls, creepy doesnt even begin to explain them lol 🙂

    Like

    December 13, 2012
  6. Dolls creep me out, too.

    Like

    December 13, 2012
  7. Ahh the perfect cast for a psycho movie …have creep written all over it. I don’t want to imagine people buying these things.

    Like

    December 13, 2012

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