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The Jay Gatsby Guide To Being A Stalker

Dear Daisy,

If I told you I bought a house across the lake from yours so I could stand on my rooftop and gaze longingly into the direction of your general location, would you love me?

If I told you I bought that massive house, complete with service staff and more amenities than a warehouse full of amenities, solely for the purpose of impressing you—if you even remember who I am—would you love me?

If I told you I threw lavish multi-million dollar parties every week at said massive house solely in the hopes that you would, one day, show up, would you love me?

If I told you that I was standing behind a bush outside your house, waiting for you to run out the front door shouting my name and leaving your husband behind, would you love me?

If I told you that I’m nice to your cousin, Nick, who thinks I’m creepy because he saw me hiding behind that bush in front of your house, and that I take him for boat rides, would you love me?

If I told you that you could run over someone in a car and, because I’m so obsessed with you, that I’d help you cover it up, would you love me?

If I told you that everything I’ve done since we last met five years ago—that’s 1,825 days by the way, but hopefully you’re not counting—was a premeditated act to get you to notice me, would you love me?

So what do you say, Daisy? Will you just freaking love me?

How much is a “yes” from you worth, my dear?

Obsessively Yours,

Jay Gatsby

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16 Comments Post a comment
  1. Matt #

    You wonder why he’s such an idolized character. You’re right, he was a stalker!

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  2. Stalker or not, I love him!

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  3. Ryan #

    Thin line between romance and stalking

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  4. As bizarre as Jay’s behavior is, just another chapter in the long history of men trying to impress women. We’ve all done it — or most of us have.

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  5. Jay just did it better than the rest of us with our roses, our chocolates and recycled, re-appropriated compliments.

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  6. LOL that’s fantastic. People do the weirdest things chasing love. Fictional characters especially. Sometimes I wish I could jump in the pages and whisper (Daisy’s not worth it!) Other times, I think “if I were Daisy, I’d call the cops.” But I wouldn’t really call the cops, seeing as I’d just run someone over.

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  7. dste #

    What about how he scanned the newspapers in the city that she lived in (Chicago?) just to see if he could spot her name mentioned?

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  8. Pretty much everyone in this book is horrible, yet I still love it.

    Like

    November 30, 2012
  9. Just discovered your blog today, and this great, very funny post!

    Like

    December 4, 2012
  10. Paige Johnson #

    #me2Jay

    Like

    April 24, 2017

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Should You Name Your Kid After Literary Characters? | 101 Books
  2. Looking Back At The Great Gatsby | 101 Books

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