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A Game Of Literary Would You Rather…?

Ever played “Would You Rather…?”

If not, it goes something like this: You’re asked a question in which you must weigh unpleasant or pleasant possibilities and decide which one you would rather do.

For instance, would you rather eat 10 rotten fish in one sitting or have uncontrollable and highly noticeable nose hair for one day?

Tough choice, right?

So, today, partly inspired by the Gilbert Gottfried question in my 20 Questions series, as well as this post about the howling skitters versus the howling fantods, I thought we could play a game of Literary Would You Rather…

Join me…won’t you?

1. Would you rather write a crappy book that is critically panned but sells millions of copies (and makes you millions of dollars) or write an award-winning book that sells a few thousand and leaves you in relative obscurity?

2. Would you rather live and die alone or live and die with Scarlett O Hara?

3. Think about the book you hate the most. Now, would you rather have that book as the only book you can read for the rest of your life, or would you rather live in a country where the standard greeting is sniffing each other’s armpits?

4. Would you rather have George Orwell’s moustache or Mark Twain’s moustache? See photos below.

5. Would you rather always have to read out loud—IN A VERY LOUD VOICE THAT EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN HEAR—or be unable to read and always have someone read to you?

6. Would you rather have to do one push up after every single page of a book you read or have to run 5 miles (at once) after every whole book you read?

7. Would you rather be a literate bird or an illiterate dog?

Answer one question or two questions or all the questions. Whatever you would like. Just join in!

Hopefully, this will make for some interesting discussion. I’ll post my answers to all 7 questions on Monday.

38 Comments Post a comment
  1. 1. The crappy book and make millions….planning on doing that very thing.
    2. Alone please, unless living with Scarlet includes Rhett.
    3. I’ll take the hated book, thank you.
    4. With the amount of $ I spend on facial depilatorie products, this question is moot.
    5. I can’t decide.
    6. I’ll take the 5 mile run, finally I’ll get in shape.
    7. The bird, I’m a snob about being literate.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 26, 2012
    • Haha…on #2 Rhett is out the door. Only Scarlett.


      October 29, 2012
  2. Mayra #

    Considering I’m black, I’d rather live and die alone than live and die with Scarlett. Though, maybe if I lived with her she wouldn’t be so self-destructive. I might teach her a few things.

    I’d rather write a critically-acclaimed bomb, just as long as I have rich snob friends willing to put me up.

    And I’ll take the armpit smellers over Ishiguro’s “Never Let Me Go” ANY DAY.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 26, 2012
    • Not of fan of Never Let Me Go? Oh no! I liked that one.


      October 29, 2012
  3. bba #

    4. Are you in some way implying Mark Twain’s mustache isn’t awesome?


    October 26, 2012
    • To the facial hair taste of some, yes.


      October 29, 2012
  4. mensrea93 #

    1. write an award winning book
    2. live alone die alone ressurected and die alone again!
    3. If this is the world we live in then people would just be rude if there armpits didnt smell nice
    4. Mark Twain obviously (It’s the source of all his genious)
    6. Probably the push ups, at least I can moderate it and read like 20 pages a night or something.
    7. The bird I suppose


    October 26, 2012
  5. Gimme that Twain ‘stache.

    I’d sell the millions of books; an artsy book only serves the author and not the masses.

    Oh yeah, armpit over Lolita any day.


    October 26, 2012
  6. 1. The award-winning book. Winning an award is still a certain kind of success, and it has potential for later.

    2. Scarlett. At least life would be interesting.

    3. Definitely the armpit sniffing greeting! I’m sure you’d get used to it after a while, but only reading that book would be miserable.

    4. George Orwell. I’d just say I was going for the “hipster” look.

    5. Very loud voice.

    6. 5 miles. That’s not even that hard. I do that amount of physical activity anyway.

    7. literate bird…no contest! The ability to fly AND read? Awesome….


    October 26, 2012
  7. 1. I’ll take the crappy book and the money. EL James is laughing all the way to the bank.
    2. Tough call. Scarlett is a pill. However, in the case of zombie apocalypse, I think I’d want her on my team. She’s scrappy.
    3. Ewww only Moby Dick forever? I’ll take the armpits. I’m assuming this country would glorify deodorant usage.
    4. I’m a lady, so if I’ve got to have a ‘stache, go big or go home. Twain all the way.
    5. Audio books are a thing. I’d take that over being obnoxiously loud.
    6. I’d have to take the running, as much as I hate it. My concentration would be lost if I had to do a pushup between each page.
    7. I’d take the dog. They don’t know they can’t read. They just take naps and are adored by everyone for being cute.


    October 26, 2012
    • I agree on #6. The pushups wouldn’t be hard. It would just be the repetitious break in concentration.


      October 29, 2012
  8. Ryan #

    1. Award winning- it’s not about money.

    2. Alone- I suppose reading and literary characters would become my friends.

    3. Armpits- especially if I’m alone in the last question.

    4. Mark Twain’s- it’s less creepy.

    5. I hate reading out loud. But it depends on who can read to me.

    6. 5 miles – pushup per page would disrupt my reading flow.

    7. Bird- plus they can fly.


    October 26, 2012
  9. 1. Depends on the prizes. Worst sex scene, perhaps not. Nobel Prize, Booker, etc, possibly. Ultimately I think I want an audience so would go with selling millions. There are enough books out there that were originally panned before being accepted by the critics.
    2. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
    3. I may be tempted by the armpits.
    4. Mark Twain’s. No contest. I could catch more food in a bush like that.
    5. I am gifted with a loud voice anyway.
    6. Push ups. I’m not getting through books very fast at the moment.
    7. Depends on the sort of bird.


    October 26, 2012
  10. Fun questions!

    1. Award-winning book. I like both integrity and obscurity.

    2. Live and die alone. Being alone has never really bothered me.

    3. As gross as it is, I have to go with armpit sniffing. Besides, if it’s the standard of greeting, you’d think people would be careful to remain clean and groomed under there.

    4. Being a woman, I’d rather have no mustache at all. Were I to choose for my boyfriend (who already wears a beard and mustache), I want to say Mark Twain because it’s a totally awesome mustache, but I also wouldn’t want to kiss that, so I would be forced into saying George Orwell.

    5. Ah, this one is the only tricky one for me. I think I’ll take having to read in a loud voice. But seeing as though I’m living and dying alone in obscurity, I wouldn’t be bothering anyone.

    6. Run five miles after every book. Actually, that seems like a good idea, since two of my goals are to both read more and run more. Hrmmm…

    7. Literate bird. Even without the adjectives, I’d rather be a bird. When asked what animal I’d be on other Either/Or memes, I always answered bird, dolphin, or horse. Can’t decide which. But then you throw in the literate/illiterate and it’s a no-brainer.

    Oh, and I hear there’s a little game being played in Jacksonville tomorrow, eh? My sympathies in advance 😉


    October 26, 2012
  11. 1. Award winning book that only sells a few thousand copies.

    2. Live and die alone.

    3. I would rather sniff the armpits of someone who hasn’t bathed for a month, than have to read In Cold Blood or Wolf Hall for the rest of my life. Seriously.

    4. Mark Twain’s moustache. Definitely.

    5. I would rather read IN A VERY LOUD VOICE. I would have no friends, but at least I’d be able to read my own books.

    6. I’d rather run five miles. It doesn’t say I have to be successful at it. Haha!

    7. Literate bird! Flying!


    October 26, 2012
    • Love these answers, BTW!


      October 26, 2012
    • The question is, though, would you sniff Truman Capote’s armpits for a month rather than read In Cold Blood?


      October 29, 2012
    • I like the idea of reading your own books very loudly everywhere you go – it’s like free advertising!


      November 6, 2012
  12. 1. The critically panned book that sells millions. If that many people want to read it, it means I’ve found my audience.
    2. Live and die alone.
    3. I’d almost take the hated book and just take up trading spoken stories with people — but I admit I never stop reading. So: armpits.
    4. I’m going to say neither: I’d take Gandalf’s beard.
    5. I’d READ OUT LOUD. My hearing is kind of shot after too many heavy metal concerts in my youth.
    6. Push ups. No problem. Running, now, that’s crazy talk.
    7. Illiterate dog. If I were a literate bird, I’d spend too much time trying to learn how to turn pages, and not enough time doing what I was meant for: flying


    October 26, 2012
  13. 1. I would be happy just to have a book published but an award would be nice if I could not have money and fame.
    2. Live and die alone. Scarlett never appreciated Rhett.
    3. I can’t give up reading so I’ll take the armpit country and become a hermit.
    4. George Orwell’s moustache looks better.
    5. Could I have audio books?
    6. A literate bird, of course!


    October 26, 2012
  14. caallenblog #

    1. award winning book with only a few thousand copies. I wouldn’t be able to live with knowing something I thought was crappy was not only available to public eyes but being loved by so many people, lmao. I don’t think the millions would be able to completely comfort me. After all, the crap book would live on in stupid infamy even after I died. Not how I’d want to be remembered.

    2. Live and die alone.

    3. Armpit country.

    4. MARK TWAIN, obvs.

    5. I would read aloud, and everyone would hate me, but at least I’d have my BOOKS. Friends, psh.

    6. I would run 5 miles after each book. That actually sounds like a good idea to fit some exercise into my sedentary life! Plus it would be so annoying to have to do a push up after each page (I say that like I can do a push up in the first place <_< )

    7. Literate bird.


    October 26, 2012
  15. highschooledumacation #

    1. Write an award-winning book that sells a few thousand and leaves you in relative obscurity ( A lot of books don’t receive the respect they deserve until the author is dead. I’d rather be remembered as Edgar Allen Poe than Stephanie Meyer.)
    2. Live and die with Scarlett O Hara
    3. Have that book as the only book you can read for the rest of your life (Twilight can be pretty amusing at times. Especially when I read the quote “I felt like – like I don’t know what. Like this wasn’t real. Like I was in some Goth version of a bad sitcom. Instead of being the A/V dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom, I was the finished-second-place werewolf about to ask the vampire’s wife to shack up and procreate. Nice.” It never fails to make me laugh. At it.)
    4. Mark Twain’s moustache. (Just look at it!)
    5. read out loud—IN A VERY LOUD VOICE THAT EVERYONE AROUND YOU CAN HEAR (At least I can read when I want to, not when somebody else wants to.)
    6. Run 5 miles (at once) after every whole book.
    7. Literate bird (Why is this even a question? Read and fly or drool and bark at squirrels.)
    Brilliant would-you-rathers!


    October 26, 2012
  16. 1. An award-winning book – I don’t write for the fame, more for the fact I just really, really enjoy it.

    2. Alone! Unless I’m allowed to repeatedly punch her in the face?

    3. Sniffing armpits. You couldn’t make me re-read Catcher in the Rye if you held me at gunpoint.

    4. Mark Twain’s, because it’s fabulous

    5. This is definitely the hardest question … read aloud. I think.

    6. Run 5 miles (I’m cheating as I frequently do!)

    7. Literate bird.


    October 27, 2012
  17. chameleon soul. #

    1) I would rather an award-winning book that sells a few thousands and leaves me in relative obscurity. But, only because I assume I would have an alternative source of (steady) income. 2) I would rather live and die alone.
    3) Well, I guess I would have to sniff people’s armpits. Hopefully, it’s a country where everyone has a beautiful scent.
    4) I would definitely rather have Orwell’s moustache. It’s awesome.
    5) People better get used to my annoying voice, because no one would be reading to me. Not at all.
    6) Haha, I’d much rather a run after every whole book I read. Makes more sense than the other option.
    7) I’d be a literate bird. Definitely.


    October 27, 2012
  18. Reblogged this on On My Stereo.


    October 28, 2012
  19. alexandrajade97 #

    1. award winning book
    2. Oh, I love Scarlett. Why does everyone hate her so much?
    3. armpit sniffing greeting
    4. I don’t like facial hair
    5. Read aloud
    6. Run 5 miles
    7. Literate bird


    February 4, 2013
  20. alexandrajade97 #

    Reblogged this on Alexandra the Terrible and commented:
    1. I would much rather write an award-winning book.
    2. Why is everyone hating on Scarlett O’Hara?! Of course I’d rather live with her!
    3. Well, the easy solution to this is to not greet people. Stay in your house with your books!
    4. I would shave. Sorry.
    5. Well, no one will here you if you stay in your house. Problem solved.
    6. Run five miles
    7. Literate bird


    February 4, 2013

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