An Ode To The Forgotten Book
For the first time in like 8 trillion days, I left my book at home one morning a few weeks ago.
This cruel realization struck me when I got in my car during my lunch break and noticed an empty passenger seat—the seat that usually provides warmth and comfort to my book of choice while I’m at work.
I felt broken, beaten, shattered and ashamed. Other than eat, what should I do for the next hour? How would I survive a lunch break without a book?
Yes, this is a “first world problem” at its finest. That said, I needed a gameplan…and fast!
So what did I do? I wrote the outline for this post—which means I didn’t actually do any of these things. But had I not wrote a post about doing these things, I would have certainly done one of these things. For sure. No doubt.
Five Things To Do At Lunch When You Forget Your Book
1) Talk to a person. Yes, an actual person with a mouth that also speaks and communicates. I’m not sure about this, but I get the feeling that a lot of avid readers are introverts. Why else would we stare at words for hours on end while there are millions of people out there just dying to have conversations about global warming, the exorbant price of gas, and this bird that likes to snow sled?
2) Read a newspaper. Remember them? So quaint. And guess what? They’re still around! Really! People actually still use printers to print words on paper. This is stunning. And other people, presumably old retired guys who watch Andy Griffith, read them. Are they being ironic, like the hipster who sports the 1980s moustache? Doubtful.
3) Visit a bookstore. I know what you’re thinking…this post might have been useful if we lived in, oh I don’t know, 1996. Yeah, newspapers and bookstores in 2012. That’s funny. Great advice. Next, I’ll probably suggest that the only downside of cigarettes is bad breath. But if you have one of these book place shop things in your area, you might want to see what’s inside. Snag the book you’ve been reading, find a quiet corner, and pick right up where you left off!
4) Take a nap. Michael Hyatt says you’re more productive if you take a twenty minute nap every day. Count me in, Hyatt. But don’t try and nap at Chick-Fil-A at lunch—the food is awesome, but if four year olds were wildebeests and laughing hyenas, Chick-Fila-A at noon would be the Serengeti. The child to adult ratio there must be 5 to 1. Your best bet is the car or an empty conference room.
5) Write a novel. This is it. This is your chance. Writing a novel is easy anyway, right? Look at Danielle Steele. She poops best-sellers. You could probably crank out some character sketches and maybe or chapter or two in an hour. All because you forgot your book at lunch. Well done.
Look, I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m a wreck without my book at lunch. I’m a shell of a man without a place to rest his soul for an entire hour. So when I forget my book at lunch, I simply eat a Chick Fil-A sandwich that has been moistened by my tears. So don’t listen to me. In fact, just ignore this entire post.
But, if you dare forget your book or Kindle, how do you spend your lunch break?