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Your Search Questions Answered, Volume 9

Not back by popular demand, today I bring you the 9TH installment of Your Search Questions Answered.

The search terms are only getting weirder, people. If you could only see the stuff I DON’T include in these posts. Wow.

Remember, these are actual, unedited search terms that the Google or some other search engine brought to my blog. I couldn’t make most of these up if I tried. For a refresher, visit this page to see all the previous search questions posts.

Now, on with it:

is blood meridian violent

Is Mrs. Dalloway boring?

one liners about women that tan too much

I’ll let good old Iris Chase from The Blind Assassin handle this one: “Soon you’ll regret all that sun-tanning. Your face will look like a testicle.”

is dangle a positive word

What do you think? Say that word aloud with me: “DANGLE.” Isn’t that just disgusting? Like I said in this post, dangle is a word you usually hear after a speedboat accident. Not exactly a pleasant visual.

get high and read finnegans wake

That’s one way to do it. I don’t endorse drugs, but I think Finnegan’s Wake might best be understood by stoners and advanced lit professors. In other words…stoners.

have you ever read any judy blume books? have you ever read *any* books?

Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t you *look* around this blog and find out. I *might* have read one or two.

women should not use word stoked

Agreed. But men shouldn’t either. Women also shouldn’t chew tobacco, leave their underarms unshaved, and go on dates with the dudes from Jersey Shore. But it happens all the time.

are reading a book not good

reading a book good not are? Haha! Pages write authors words and sentences complete! Funny so. Haha! Woo?

book about an iranian girl going through puberty

Log this one under search terms I never would’ve expected to lead to my blog two years ago. Again, thank you so much Judy Blume.

depressing logs

Aw, guys. The logs are sad. Don’t be sad, logs.

what is the theme of to the lighthouse by judy blume

Now that’s funny. Has anyone ever confused Judy Blume with Virginia Woolf?

corrections franzen old man thinks feces talk to him

He does. He really does. It’s a sad point in your life when, like Alfred Lambert from The Corrections, your hallucinations have the theme of talking poop. Doesn’t there seem to be so many more delightful things about which to hallucinate, like giant vats of popcorn and chocolate, or a world in which domesticated pets can cut the grass and provide free lawn care?

***

Well, that’s it for today. Dear internet people, keep those screwy search terms coming. They make great blog fodder.

Expect to a see a “best of” edition of Your Search Questions Answered the next time around.

As always, do share any wacky terms you’ve received below!

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12 Comments Post a comment
  1. Matt #

    That line from The Blind Assassin is awesome!

    Like

    April 6, 2012
    • Probably the funniest from any of the books I’ve read so far, especially since it comes from a grumpy old woman.

      Like

      April 6, 2012
      • It’s also just about my favorite book. Atwood’s dry wit will get you every time.

        Like

        April 6, 2012
  2. Melissa @ Swamp of Boredom #

    Now I’m curious about my search terms!

    Like

    April 6, 2012
    • They provide much entertainment, for sure.

      Like

      April 6, 2012
  3. I love the confusion between Judy Blume and Virginia Woolf. So funny. I once had a friend who told me her favorite book was A Tale of Two Cities by Mark Twain. Needless to say, we aren’t really friends anymore.

    Like

    April 6, 2012
  4. Shem the Penman #

    Wow. I’d hate to be Virginia Woolf and James Joyce right now, the way they’re taking it on the chin from self-infatuated web wag and cultural juggernaut Robert Bruce.

    Take that, all you smarty-pants book snobs.

    Like

    April 6, 2012
    • “101 Books: Brought to you by self-infatuated web wag and cultural juggernaut Robert Bruce.”

      I think that will be my new tagline.

      Like

      April 6, 2012
  5. Haha, the Correction thing was funny as was the Finnegans Wake one, I should check out the other volumes, me thinks…

    Like

    April 6, 2012
  6. I am so glad that my favorite line from The Blind Assassin was able to come back around. Hahaha! Good stuff.

    Like

    April 7, 2012
  7. Reblogged this on Inkings and Inklings.

    Like

    April 14, 2012

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