7 Annoying Words That Should Die A Horrible Death
Time Magazine recently released a list of 15 words that should die in 2012. The list included some rather annoying, trendy words and phrases from 2011—like baby bump, occupy (wait, wasn’t that Time’s word of the year?), bro (as in “bromance” and “bro date”), and sexting.
Those, indeed, are extremely annoying words. But I think I can do better. As an avid book reader, writer, and Twitterererer, I’d like to think I know a few things about words.
So, with a tip of the cap to our friends at Time, I present 7 trendy words or phrases that should die a miserable death in 2012. (Of note, this list is different from the words that make me cringe—which are time-honored words that have been auditory nuisances since they were first spoken).
Example: “Dude, I’m totally stoked that Limp Bizkit is making a comeback!”
Did I miss something? Are we all living in California, circa 1994? Is that Jason Priestley in primetime? To determine whether or not you should ever use “stoked,” follow these simple guidelines:
- Do you surf more than three days a week?
- Do you own a prominently displayed poster of Tony Hawk?
- Is your name Tony Hawk?
- Have you ever competed in the X Games (summer or winter)?
- Are you younger than 16?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, it’s socially acceptable to say “stoked.” If not, then please stop. I only tell you this because I want the best for you.
2) Just sayin’.
Example: “If you think Lolita is a beautiful love story, I think you’re a pervert. Just sayin’.”
Another example: “Your oatmeal smells like stale urine. Just sayin’.”
I don’t know what you’re saying. But I think what you’re saying is that you can say whatever you want, and throw a little “just sayin’” at the end as a verbal disclaimer to let you off the hook.
Here’s a tip: Just say what you are saying without the “just sayin.” We already know you’re saying it…after all, you just said it. Also, read Jon Acuff’s post about “just sayin.”
Example: Dad: “Son, you’re 10 years old. I don’t think you’re ready to read A Clockwork Orange.”
Son: “I’ll be 11 in June.”
Dad: “Here, I’ll let you borrow my copy of The Hobbit. You’ll enjoy it.”
Son: “Whatever, dad. Tolkien is so lame.”
You can ask my wife: I interpret most words literally. So, one day, if my son ever gets an attitude with me and throws out the old “whatever” card, I might feel free to take the “whatever” literally–as in:
“Dad, I understand you’re mad at me. Do whatever you choose to remedy this unfortunate situation.” Then, I’ll make him mow the yard until he’s 50 and lock his iPad 12 in the attic.
Example: “You think Lolita is a beautiful love story. Seriously?”
Yeah, I’m guilty of this one—not for thinking Lolita is a beautiful love story, but for saying “seriously?” way too often. Do a search for “seriously” on this blog, and I’m sure it will come up. “Seriously” is basically a more confrontational version of “just sayin.’” Another example: “You think that moustache actually looks good on you? Seriously?”
The inquisitive version of “seriously” is now cliché. Seriously.
Example: “Did you see Jersey Shore last night? It was epic.”
The Lord of the Rings is epic. The universe is epic. The fact that you secured one of 20,000 tickets to the Justin Beiber concert is not epic. Not epic at all.
In fact, since Justin Bieber is touring the country to visit dozens of arenas—each with thousands in attendance—it’s pretty ordinary. Now, a Justin Bieber concert on Venus? That would be epic.
6) It is what it is.
Example: “That bookstore smells like old feet. I guess it is what it is.”
It is what it is. No freaking kidding. This is like saying “A table is a table.” What a unique perspective! Or “101 Books is 101 Books.” Surely you jest! Athletes are notorious for saying this. Either they are modern day Socrates, or they have no idea what they are saying. I’m guessing it’s the latter.
Unless you’re a Buddhist monk referring to the essence of the cosmos, “it is what it is” just sounds stupid.
7) Awesome Sauce.
Example: The guitar riff in that new Coldplay song is total awesome sauce.
I can’t explain why, but when I hear the phrase “awesome sauce,” I want to inflict physical pain to the mouth area of the person who utters it. Just writing the words “awesome sauce” makes me want to throw this keyboard through a window.
No, I don’t have anger issues. Shut up! Leave me alone!
That’s all. But am I the only one that finds these 7 words/phrases beyond annoying?
Would you add any to this list?
And now there’s 7 (even more) annoying words that should die a horrible death.