The Blah Story is Full of Blah
You can’t make this stuff up.
I stumbled across this last month while we were discussing the longest novels in literature. An “author” named Nigel Tomm “wrote” a “book” that consists of 23 volumes, 11,338,105 words, 61,745,771 characters (with spaces), and 17,868 pages.
The book’s name? The Blah Story. Here’s an excerpt:
Blah intimidated, they blah to blah blah, where blah and blah passed a blah blah. Blah little blah that blah blah one blah surprised to blah what blah their blah were blah.
‘I always blah a blah to blah a blah,’ he blah blah.
‘I like blah.’
Like I said, you can’t make this stuff up. The book, self-published, is even available on Amazon. The product description says:
Overwhelmingly creative, Nigel Tomm demolishes the barrier of words and meaning, giving vitality and expressive strength to the pattern of his most exclusive novel – The Blah Story. It is a new way of conceiving text that frees the imagination, allowing you to personalize each and every word by your own creativity. * Book statistics: Volume 1 contains 390,734 words; 2,010,877 characters (with spaces). *
In other words, you, the reader, are expected to do the job of the writer. This isn’t “overwhelmingly creative,” it’s overwhelmingly lazy and offensive to the reader. This is like a chef giving you a plate and telling you to pick the food out of the pantry and cook it yourself–and then saying, “Look how creative and avante garde I am!”
I would rather read Infinite Jest backwards than try and read one page of this. Wow. So I’ve given The Blah Story way too much of my time.
Am I off base here, or is this just totally ridiculous?