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A Game Of Literary Would You Rather (Third Edition)

would-you-intro

It’s that time again.

It’s that time when I ask stupid would you rather questions that absolutely make no sense–and then you answer them!

What a delightful experience.

We’ve done this twice before with moderate success, so I thought I’d give it another try since it’s been a while.

Here we go.

  1. Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down?
  2. Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot (both famous authors)?
  3. Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance?
  4. Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate?
  5. Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)?
  6. Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother?

What’s wrong with me? How do I come up with these horrible lesser-of-two-evil options?

I really don’t know. All I do know is that I will meditate over my answers and post them here on Monday.

Please do share your answers to any or all of the questions below!

And go here for past versions of Literary Would You Rather!

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48 Comments Post a comment
  1. I’d rather read Infinite Jest 10 times than get hit in the head by it. I’m saving it for last once I’ve read all of DFW’s other works, but the more you read a book, the more you notice. Also, Scarlett Johansen might cause some men to fulfill a gruesome Oedipal prophecy, much like in “Kafka on the Shore’ by Haruki Murakami. As a wife, she seems like she would be a detached handful-cold and flighty.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  2. On 3, The Shining all the way.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  3. Upside down, George Eliot, The Shining, Two foot tall literate, Hit in the Head, and Wife.

    I’m now going to try and write a short story with that as the title.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  4. 1. Upside down. I do that a lot anyway while I’m teaching.

    2. A woman named George Eliot. Again, I already semi-experience this. My name is Leonore, which everyone mispronounces (they all say Lenore), so I tell them to just call me Leo.

    3. I haven’t seen Deliverance all the way through, but I know what it’s about, so I think I’m going to go with The Shining

    4. Two feet tall and literate

    5. I have no idea, but maybe being hit in the head with it. The other day, I was trying to read one of his New Yorker essays and I got bored and didn’t finish, so that wouldn’t bode well for a 1000+ page book.

    6. Probably a mother. She’d be more likely to ignore me that way and I wouldn’t have to deal with her.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  5. Your questions made me laugh! =D
    Okay, here we go!

    1. I think backwards would be easier.
    2. A woman named George Eliot.
    3. I don’t know the second one, so I have to go for The Shining. I did imagine living through it before so I think I’ll do alright (unless I freeze to death or something).
    4. Completely literate; size doesn’t matter!
    5. I don’t know what this book is about but I’d rather read it, maybe I’d like it.
    6. I don’t know how she’s like, but I’m not into women anyways so I’d pick a mother.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  6. This was fun…
    1. Upside down teaching do it all the time…
    2. Definitely a woman named George Eliot.
    3. I guess The Shining, but my life is crazy enough that I’d rather neither.
    4. Hit me on the head and put me out of my misery, please.
    5. I’d marry her and if she got to be too much I’d totally divorce her.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  7. bba #

    2. Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo! That’s the worst name I’ve ever heard.
    3. I’ll take a room for 2 in the Overlook, preferably not #237.
    5. I’ve probably read IJ as many times as a person could withstand being hit with it.
    6. You can divorce a wife and they can’t warp you as a kid.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
    • But they can put you in prison for life. Just ask Andy Dufrane.

      Like

      May 10, 2013
  8. :) Hey there first comment long-time lurker

    1. Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down?
    Backwards!
    2. Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot?
    Evelyn Waugh all the way, he doesn’t get enough love
    3. Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance?
    Honestly neither but I’d take on The Shining
    4. Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate?
    Well I’m already quite short so being about average for a hobbit isn’t so bad so long as I can still read!
    5. Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)?
    Hahaha I read it once, I can force myself to read it again
    6. Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother?
    Less traumatizing to have Miss O’Hara as your wife rather than as your mother I’d reckon!

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  9. The thing is, am I upside down, or is the text upside down? I would rather read backwards, at any rate.

    Did you know that George Eliot had a relationship w/ a man named George Lewes? Cracks me up. I’d rather be a woman named George Eliot than a man named Evelyn Waugh.

    I don’t think I would survive either adventure, but I’d pray for deliverance from both, should the nightmares become reality.

    I’d pick literacy over height any time.

    I’d read Infinite Jest over the clobbering. Somehow, though, I expect the end result would be the same…

    Scarlett, ‘think about it tomorrow’ as a mother? never. If I were her husband, however, I’d just find myself a woman named George to live with.

    LOVE your blog!

    Like

    May 10, 2013
    • Thanks! On #1, I was thinking you would be upside down but I didn’t clarify. Interpret however you wish.

      Like

      May 10, 2013
  10. 1. backwards, if I can use a mirror to turn the text the right way around (a la Da Vinci)
    2. George Eliot
    3. The Shining
    4. Two feet tall. I can burrow into a library more easily.
    5. Hit in the head. At least that will be of finite duration.
    6. Mother. I don’t live with my mother anymore, can’t say the same of the spouse

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  11. 7. Would you rather be Holden Caulfield or his protective custody persona Jay Gatsby?

    Like

    May 10, 2013
    • Seeing as they are both whiny, pretentious bastards, at least Gatsby has some charm about him, in turns.

      Like

      May 10, 2013
  12. Andy #

    1) I’d rather read upside down than backwards
    2) I’d rather be a woman with the first name “George” because I could have people call me “Georgie” and it would work (hopefully).
    3) Probably The Shining, but I can’t help but choose that one because I have a man-crush on Stephen King. What can I say? He’s a brilliant author.
    4) There are few physical conditions that I would be willing to accept–even the norm–if it meant I couldn’t read. I’d much rather be able to read.
    5) I’d probably let you bop me over the head with that big thing unless you could convince me to read it otherwise.
    6) I’d rather let Scarlett be my mother, thank you very much.

    I’m actually sad to be done answering these. I like this; it promotes creativity. Great idea!

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  13. Here we go.

    Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down?
    Neither, but I guess upside down is a bit better.

    Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot (both famous authors)?
    George Eliot.

    Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance?
    The Shining, the thrill is just unimaginable.

    Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate?
    two-feet tall and completely literate, I can’t give up knowledge and reading.

    Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)?
    I’d read it, my head can’t take that much hitting.

    Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother?
    Seeing as I’m not into women, I guess I’ll pick her as my mother.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  14. I’d much rather read backwards. I feel like I kind of do that anyway – I’m always drawn to the wrong end of a book or magazine and have to consciously remember to start at the beginning and not the end.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  15. Stevi in KC #

    1. Upside down definitely
    2. I’m already a girl with a boyish name, so I think I’d try being a male Evelyn.
    3. Do I get to pick the character I am? Even so, still probably The Shining
    4. Literate, every time
    5. Haven’t read it yet, so I’d at least try it before choosing getting hit with it
    6. Wife. Her as a mother would probably ruin my childhood… as a wife I’m sure we could come to some kind of flighty and spontaneous understanding.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  16. What is wrong with you, indeed! These questions are hard.

    1. Backwards.
    2. Being a man with a name like Evelyn would be interesting, I reckon.
    3. Neither? Okay, given that we get to LIVE through it, Deliverance.
    4. #@$%!!
    5. Read it.
    6. Mother. I ignore my mother now, so…

    Like

    May 10, 2013
    • Weird questions are my spiritual gift, I guess.

      Like

      May 10, 2013
  17. How fun!!
    1. Upside down.
    2. George Elliot, because then you can nickname yourself Georgie.
    3. I’d never heard anything about either books, but I looked them up and I say “Deliverance”.
    4. TWO FEET TALL. I would never give up literacy.
    5. Read it, duh.
    6. Mother. ;)

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  18. ABP #

    -upside-down
    -George Eliot
    -Deliverance
    -two feet small, I’m short anyway.
    -read it, but it’s kind of a close call
    -mother, because you get to leave those eventually.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  19. Reblogged this on Live is adventure.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  20. Completely off topic, but triggered: My Patient Husband likes to solve sudoku puzzles upside down. I’l be at the table, working on one and he will point and say: “Eight here.”

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  21. MAM #

    Upside down, Evelyn, the Shining, two feet tall, ahthisistough–read it? If I get halfway through can I only have 5 hits? Wife, definitely: she was a looker, after all, which was about all she had going for her.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  22. 1. Upside down. I tested it.
    2. Woman named George- more opportunities!
    3. I don’t know these.
    4. 2 feet tall for sure.
    5. I’m dying to read it!
    6. I’ve already got a swell mom so I’ll take her as a wife. But I’ve never read Gone With the Wind so who knows.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  23. 1. Upside down! I’ll know it’s enough when I’ve passed out
    2. A woman named George Eliot, because people already think I write like a guy anyway.
    3. Stephen King’s The Shining. As the kid. Long-term developmental trauma, please
    4. Permanently two-feet tall and completely literate because I don’t have a male member.
    5. My literary ego says ‘read’, while my more animalistic ego is all ‘we can take it’
    6. Wife, only choose long-term developmental trauma once

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  24. I don’t know what it says about me, but these were all easy for me to answer:

    1. Upside down
    2. A woman named George Eliot (this may or may not have something to do with the fact that I always thought Nancy Drew’s friend George was a pretty cool chick
    3. The Shining.
    4. Two feet tall and completely literate. I can’t imagine being illiterate.
    5. Read
    6. Wife, because I could always just leave like Rhett

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  25. This is my first exposure to this series – LOVE IT!

    1. Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down?

    Upside down makes more sense in my brain

    2.Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot (both famous authors)?

    A woman named George – way cooler, way less challenging in junior high

    3.Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance?

    um… The Shining. At least I wouldn’t quite know what to expect next if I were caught…

    4.Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate?

    Two feet tall and literate, all the way. Reading changes the world. Being short – which I already am, though I have 3 feet on the example – is no big thing. That’s what tall people and ladders are for.

    5.Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)?

    Read it. I read bigger, less interesting things and lost relatively few brain cells in the process.

    6.Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother

    Damn. In either case, I’d just run away from home…

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  26. I’d rather be a woman named George. You could pull it off in a tomboyish way, but as a woman named Evelyn… ouch. Also I’d rather have Scarlett for a mother because then at least there’s a chance you don’t share a bank account…

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  27. Kelley #

    1. Upside down in a yoga position.
    2. Evelyn Waugh, I couldn’t get through Middle March.
    3. The Shining because Deliverance is REAL.
    4.Two feet tall and literate like Tyrion, the dwarf in The Game of Thrones.
    5. Read Infinite Jest, less painful.
    6. Marry Scarlet O’hara. Moms are forever.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  28. pollarod1 #

    1. upside down! backwards ruins the ending.
    2. A woman named George. Not a fan of the name Evelyn period.
    4. 2 feet tall and literate

    This was hilarious. Definitely do more of these!

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  29. I’d rather have Scarlett as my wife. If she were my mother, I’d surely come out neglected and effed up (but never hungry again…)

    And I could tell her everyday: “I don’t give a damn” without getting punished like a child.

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  30. 1. Upside down
    2. Evelyn Waugh (its a neat name)
    3. The Shining
    4. Always literate
    5. well I got through War and Peace so come at me
    6. Even though I am a straight woman, I’d rather marry her so I can leave her,. lol

    Like

    May 10, 2013
  31. 1. Upside-down.

    2. George Eliot.

    3. Oh my goodness, what are you doing to me? I’m pretty sure I’d rather commit suicide.

    4. Two feet tall. I’m used to being a shorty.

    5. I’d rather read IJ a million times.

    6. My mother. They’re easier to get away from if you want to cut ties.

    Like

    May 11, 2013
  32. 1.) Upside down all the way…though I’m intrigued by backwards reading.
    2.) I was almost a George (Mom liked Georgiana for me) so I def would be George Eliot. Pen names are the best.
    3.) I’ve never read Deliverance, but I think I have to go with that since The Shining is literally my worst nightmare. Before I saw it I had recurring nightmares about being in a large, many roomed space that I had to defend/hide in from people trying to kill me. Also I don’t want the supernatural to ever be a real thing.
    4.) 2′ and literate? Assuming I can have the same body proportions I have now…I have a weird thing about height so this question was evil.
    5.) Imma say wife because I love my mama too much to not have her. I think I would have turned out just as bad without her.

    Wait…what are YOUR answers?

    Like

    May 11, 2013
    • Also, definitely read than be hit over the head…missed that one somehow.

      Like

      May 11, 2013
  33. Sissy #

    1. Upside down
    2. George Elliot. There are a lot of options. Georgie, Georgette, Georgiana (if you’re feeling Pride and Prejudice-y that day)
    3. Oh dear. Um…The Shining
    4. Short and literate
    5. Wife. If she was my mother I’d have more of a change of being screwed up for life
    6. Read it, for sure

    Like

    May 12, 2013
  34. Upside down, George Elliot, The Shining, short and literate, wife, and hit on the head,

    The George Eliot thing is a no-brainer. When I was growing up I always wanted to be called George – I was obsessed with George out the of the Famous Five, to the point where I cut my hair short, took my dog everywhere with me, and tried to solve all the ‘mysteries’ on our street. Including, but not limited to, ‘The Mystery of the Hat in the Tree’. That was a tricky one and remains unsolved to this day.

    Like

    May 13, 2013
  35. Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down? Um.. Backwards I’d say. I’m not good with the upside down bit.
    Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot (both famous authors)? Woman named George Eliot!!
    Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance? Crud. Both are terrifying but I guess Deliverance.
    Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate? Two feet tall + can read please.
    Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)? Read. Reaaad.
    Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother? Damn… mother I guess.

    Like

    May 13, 2013
  36. framptoncards #

    1. Backwards as i wear varifocal glasses and so looking up through the bottom of the lens would be far to difficult
    2. Evelyn Waugh. My family comes from George Eliot’s home town of Bedworth in Warwickshire and it is the dreariest most unpleasant place you can imagine (sorry Dad)
    3. Deliverance
    4. Permanently illiterate, it would drive me crazy knowing there’s books on the top shelf that I couldn’t reach.
    5. I’ll read it please
    6. Wife, there’s at least an element of choice

    Like

    May 13, 2013
  37. Would you rather have to read backwards or read upside down? Backwards
    Would you rather be a man named Evelyn Waugh or a woman named George Eliot (both famous authors)? A woman named Georgie Elliot – would shorte to Georgie!
    Would you rather have to live through Stephen King’s The Shining or James Dickey’s Deliverance? Would have to go with Deliverance
    Would you rather permanently be two-feet tall and completely literate, or normal size and permanently illiterate? 2 feet tall and literate, couldn’t even imagine being illiterate.
    Would you rather read Infinite Jest or get hit in the head with Infinite Jest 10 times (it’s 1,100 pages and more than 480,000 words)? I’d give it a read
    Would you rather have Scarlett O’Hara as your wife or as your mother? Mother then!

    Like

    May 14, 2013

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. A Game of Literary “Would You Rather…?” (Third Edition) | Book Nympho
  2. My Answers To Literary Would You Rather (Third Edition) | 101 Books
  3. Let’s Play Literary Would You Rather! (4th Edition) | 101 Books

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