Have You Ever Got This Mad About A Book’s Ending?
Look, I’ll be the first to tell you that I’m passionate about college football. At times, even unreasonably so.
And I think my wife would agree that my love of college football has become more balanced with age. My life doesn’t revolve around whether or not Georgia wins a game on Saturday. Thank God.
Now, I want you to watch this video featuring a mentally unbalanced Tennessee fan whose emotional well-being appears to depend on a Tennessee win. I promise I’m going somewhere with this…just humor me.
But please note: This video is not safe for work, unless your employer enjoys loud, repeated use of the F Word and the GD word. If that’s the case, you have permission to skip to the copy below the video.
Now, can you imagine getting THAT upset over a book’s ending?
Let’s take Gone With The Wind for example.
Imagine sitting in the comfort of your bedroom sipping on a hot cup of hazelnut coffee whilst reading the following closing lines of Gone With The Wind. You’ve read one thousand pages, waiting on this one moment, a glorious ending to Margaret Mitchell’s classic:
With the spirit of her people who would not know defeat, even when it stared them in the face, she raised her chin. She could get Rhett back. She knew she could. There had never been a man she couldn’t get, once she set her mind upon him.
“I’ll think of it all tomorrow, at Tara. I can stand it then. Tomorrow I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.”
Hmm. That’ can’t be it.
[Turns page back.]
[Flips through pages frantically.]
No. No. No!
[Stands up. Drops book.]
Please, no. This can’t be it. Please, no!
[Picks book back up.]
Rhett! No! You can’t do this, Rhett!
[Flips through pages again.]
This cannot be happening, Rhett! You just can’t walk out on her like that!
[Drops book again. Picks book back up. Throws book into Twilight-themed bedspread.]
Scarlett! Chase him! Run, girl! Run! Don’t let him get away like that!
[Lies prostrate on Twilight-themed bedspread. Moans.]
NOOOO! You were meant to be together!!! NOOOOO! You cannot do this!!!!!! I hate you, Rhett!!!!! I hate you!!!!!
[Drops onto ground. Pounds head on floor.]
I can’t do it! It cannot end this way. For the love…
[Crawls into fetal position.]
[Crawls under Twilight-themed bed spread.]
I hate my life.
Ever got that mad about a book’s ending? Let’s hope not.
I’ve read my fair share of endings that made me unhappy. But I’ve yet to get angry enough to throw the book into my beloved Twilight-themed bedspread.
You’ve never done that….have you?